Ohio seeks death penalty over groundhog’s weather-prediction

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On Groundhog Day, Punxsutawney Phil failed to see his own shadow and thus predicted that spring would arrive early this year — but the snow and icy winds still lashing much of the country would beg to differ. Michael Gmoser, the prosecuting attorney of Butler County, Ohio, isn't going to let Phil's error slide. He's filed an indictment against the groundhog, accusing the critter of purposely lying about spring's true date of arrival. And a mere slap on the paw isn't punishment enough for Phil: Gmoser has called for him to be executed “When he betrays us like this, something has to be done,” Gmoser said.

Here's Gmoser's full, definitely deadly serious indictment:

STATE OF OHIO,
COUNTY OF BUTLER, SS:

ln the Year 2013

l, Michael T. Gmoser, the Prosecuting Attorney of this County, say by way of information that:

COUNT ONE
MISREPRESENTATION OF EARLY SPRING

On or about February 02, 2013, at Gobbler's Knob, Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that Spring would come early. Contrary to the Groundhog Day report, a snowstorm and record low temperatures have been and are predicted to continue in the near future, which constitutes the offense of MISREPRESENTATION OF EARLY SPRING, a Unclassified Felony, and against the peace and dignity of the State Of Ohio.

SPECIFICATION: The people further find and specify that due to the aggravating circumstances and misrepresentation to the people that the death penalty be implemented to the defendant, Punxsutawney Phil.

Source: [Newser]

 

1 Comment

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